~ a quick hello ~

My 15-year old god-daughter in her trendy Uggs and whatever brand trendy jacket.
Polaroid SX-70 on January 23, 2010.

As much as I love what others produce with their polaroids I am not sure it is for me. The film is super expensive and the results are usually pretty blurry and either very green or very orange, made worse by my scanner which is pretty much on its last leg (one of those all-in-one machines that I’ve had a few years.) These ones were taken with pricey TZ film and I am not too impressed with the giraffe pattern! Oh ok, it’s artistic. Anyway, I am sure with more patience and motivation I could figure it out, but for now I have run out of film and I won’t be stocking up too soon.

Anyway. I just wanted to say a quick hello on yet another late night. I’ve had a dull headache all day, only slightly eased by my superwoman massage therapist. An old friend of mine from my Lufthansa days passed away this week. She was an alcoholic. My drinking buddy during my darker times in London all those years ago. Eventually she got married to another alcoholic, they had a baby and moved to Spain. We did not keep in contact and I only got the occasional update through mutual friends. Last week she was taken to hospital with organ failure and died a few days later from a massive heart attack. She was 41. The reality of her death didn’t hit me until yesterday when messages started pouring in from friends and former colleagues. Suddenly the memories came flushing to the surface, both painful and good ones. When I say that she was my drinking buddy there is so much that I am leaving out. There is a lot of tragedy and sadness once you lift the veil of her affluent and irresponsible lifestyle. Yet for all her misguided choices she was always a very sweet and generous soul. One of those people who made you feel good about yourself, there was not a single mean bone in her. She was positive and charming and laughed a lot. But she was the party girl who didn’t know when to come home. May she rest in peace.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed by all the sad news that has been permeating the world, both at large and within my personal boundaries, yet I am feeling fairly calm. I try to focus on those things that I have at least some control over, and cherish the good stuff that is out there, too. Now, if only I could bring myself to go to bed earlier, I think that would help the most!