: another move
When I returned to gipsylife.com after a three months break it was supposed to be like a soft landing after floating in uncertainty for the best part of this year. I shared my news and felt at peace, for the first time in a long while.
Sadly this peace did not last very long on my blog as I was receiving numerous messages about misusing the word “gypsy” (or “gipsy” in my case). Someone left lengthy comments with multiple links not just on my blog but also on my flickr photos and sent me messages through flickr, etsy and my business website. Threats were uttered about my name and phone number having been publicized on various Romani website and that they would continue to contact me until I stopped misusing “their” word and took down my blog. Whatever peace I had felt was quickly shattered under this avalanche of harassment.
Normally I am not so easily impressed by cyber-bullying and initially I just ignored it all and put my comments into moderation and took a few other precautionary steps. Nonetheless, more messages came in and you know what? With everything that is going on in my life right now (planning and packing for a bi-coastal move, breaking my lease on the apartment and needing to find a new tenant, transitioning my demanding job during our peak season) I did not have the energy to fight this.
And so I gave it some thought. Despite the aggressive tone of the messages I am actually sympathetic to the cause of the Romani. Having said this, I will not pretend that I know much about them; my impressions are somewhat ambivalent, on one hand there are the romanticized stories and songs about “gypsies” that I grew up with and then there was the reality of the “gypsies” who lived along the edges of my hometown, often accused of stealing and other petty crimes, while being considered with suspicion and fear. I have never personally met a “gypsy” and therefore never gave their history and real life conditions much thought.
In our western culture we have evolved the word “gypsy” into a romantic bohemian lifestyle that has nothing to do with the actual ethnic group (who regard the term “gypsy” a swear word). I was informed that my (mis)use of the word was only furthering this wrong image and offensive to the Romani. The fact is, there is nothing at all romantic about the lives of real gypsies who have suffered terrible prosecution for most of their existence.
I have been blogging under gipsylife for the last five years and it’s been a good and enjoyable run. In my case I chose the word not because of its bohemian romantic image but simply because I’ve been called a gypsy throughout my life on the grounds of all my traveling and moving around. In that sense my blog name was a metaphor and not to be taken too literal. But the more I thought about it all I realized that perhaps it was time for a change anyway. I long for more permanence and grounding and my next move (to the east coast) is all about that. But it’s not just that. In some ways the “gypsy” image has also been my mask, those layers around my true center that I am beginning to shed. And so I decided that I was ready to move on. And to be more true to myself by simply being myself and by continuing to blog under my own name at kerstinmartin.com. This blog will eventually be shut down.
P.S. Strangely enough, once I told the sender of those message about my decision her tone became a lot softer and we ended up having a friendly and informative exchange of stories and opinions. There is a lot to be learned about the Romani. I felt very assured by this turn in our communications and also happy that sometimes trying to understand the other side and reaching out can result in a positive outcome. When she learned that I would be looking for a new name for my blog she suggested maljaki luludi which means ‘wild flower’ in her language. I really liked that because I love wild flowers and the spirit behind this image. But it does not feel right for me to be using a Romani expression since I have no association with them. And I am actually very happy with my choice to continue as moi. See you on the other side!